The intention of this blog post is for you to realize that your issues are more than what meets the eye. When you burnout, people usually ask you if you had a too demanding role at work. Perhaps a bad boss and too many and tight deadlines. Now surely, that often is the case, and part of that was contributing to my burnout as well. But once I really started to scratch the surface, I realized there was so much brewing underneath it all that indeed played a bigger part if you zoomed out a bit.
So, let’s get into the… happenings of my life that serve as insight and learning purposes? Yeah, like the sound of that. Sidetracking here but this needs to be said – paraphrasing Tony Robbins – You decide what meaning you want things to have. Back to me. I have to say the burden isn’t exactly easing up on me lately. Upping up my work time to 50% is turning out to be a real effort, and more to it; as I said in yesterday’s post – the more you know, the more you realize how little you know. This week I’ve truly come to open my eyes to all the addictions I subscribe to. The funny thing is that I’ve always jokingly said that I have a bit of an addiction-character, not realizing the surgery precision & scale on that statement. Currently, I’m carrying a member card to the following addiction-clubs, and the member cost is a daily fee of constant energy drainage. Drip, drip, drip.
- Codependency – A behavioral condition in a relationship where one person enables another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or under-achievement. Among the core characteristics of codependency is an excessive reliance on other people for approval and a sense of identity. (Wikipedia)
- Work addiction – A person who manifests a compulsive need to work, even at the expense of family responsibilities, social life, and health. (Source)
- Food addiction – A food addiction or eating addiction is a behavioral addiction that is characterized by the compulsive consumption of palatable (e.g., high fat and high sugar) foods which markedly activate the reward system in humans and other animals despite adverse consequences. (Wikipedia)
- Exercise addiction – is a state characterized by a compulsive engagement in any form of physical exercise, despite negative consequences. While regular exercise is generally a healthy activity, exercise addiction generally involves performing excessive amounts of exercise to the detriment of physical health, spending too much time exercising to the detriment of personal and professional life, and exercising regardless of physical injury. (Wikipedia)
- Digital World-Stimuli addiction (Computer/Phone/web/youtube/audiobooks/poddcasts) – Internet addiction is characterized by excessive or poorly controlled preoccupations, urges or behaviours regarding computer use and internet access that lead to impairment or distress. (Source Pubmed)
But the addictions are not the only loading the stress system, the incredibly high standards and demands I put on myself isn’t exactly helping. More to it, I have a little thing called Social anxiety where I overanalyze any social situation whey beyond what’s healthy. It doesn’t necessarily make me socially handicapped, as I’m perfectly capable of handling myself and have learned to enjoy hanging out with people for a limited time. But, it’s costing A lot. Going back to work after a 11 months of sick leave, I’ve realized that the most demanding part at work is actually talking to people. And when it comes to the tendency to overanalyze, that is implemented on every part of life. You have no idea how many perfect banans there are to choose from in the grocery store!
Anyways, this may seem like a big and daunting list to overcome – which in fact it really is and part of why I started writing this post! But(!), all these things are also what makes me unique and awesome. I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish half of what I have in life it wasn’t for all these things. And I live by the principle of not regretting anything – because nothing can be done about the past anyway, all we can do is look ahead, learn from our mistakes and make sure not to repeat them! Or at least do our best! And who knows if I would even be alive if I didn’t do the things I did. I just need to find a more balanced approach to life, and that kind of gets me excited. Because I do love life to its fullest, and I do intend to enjoy the crap out of it until I turn at least 130! But, again, I do need to fix a lot of things, and there’s no time to waste.
So what should you do when there’s a lot of sh*t that needs to be dealt with? Well, I don’t have all the answers, but google for sure has a lot of them. So does the library. Which isn’t the easiest thing to say to an exhausted person which at times doesn’t have the energy to do jack. But (there is a lot of BUTS in this text) patience is key. One step at the time, one day at the time. And as for me and my approach – I’m trying to read up on and understand ADDICTION on a general level while also combating Social anxiety through overwriting my old values and believes with better ones. And when I’ve grasped how to attack addictions, I need to figure out what’s causing the most stress-load and/or harm to me, and start focusing in on that one thing. It’s easy to get overwhelmed, and all I can say is, start with a holistic view and try to understand what’s the most strategically smart thing to fix first.
Resources I know has helped me in the past, and are key to moving forward with overcoming addictions:
- Understanding the mind and body – physiological drivers and impact
- Habit building & rebuilding
- Understanding of Willpower & Motivation
- Awareness, Acceptance & Taking Responsibility.
And when it comes to understanding & working with Values, Mark mansons books the Subtle art of not giving a fu*k and Everything is fu*ked are great reads. Also you can find a lot of resources on his website.
As for now, this is all I’ve got. I’m hungry and I know I got real messy in this post. That’s the way it went down today – deal with it 🙂
P.S Realized a fundamental flaw in my quest to share this kindof information to likeminded – my intended target group – the burnouts – usually don’t have the capacity to read and take in stuff anyways.. hm. Well well,