So, as I hinted about in yesterday’s post, I’ve committed to a daily post. Which really is quite stupid and unavoidably will lead to lower quality overall. SO, I’ve come to my senses and decided to name all the ‘just-get-it-done-posts” ‘DON’t READ THIS…’, so I’ll spare you the time. These post may just be some brainfarting – meaning I have no idea where I’ll end up as in this post – or simply sharing some moments from the day.
Today I’ve lacked energy from the get-go. And although I momentarily got it back while talking to my girlfriend (is she?!), it went south quite soon thereafter. Actually, ever since she visited me last weekend, that’s 9 days ago now, I’ve felt my health declining. Less energy, feeling awful after my workouts, feeling awful after working. And even now, feeling awful after being home sitting (lying in the bed) in front of the computer most of the day.
I’m feeling it now, I actually might bring home a point here after all, stay with me!
The thing you may not think will exhaust you may more often than you think, be a main contributor to your current state. Having a girlfriend (really, I don’t know what we call it?!), or I should say a relatively newly started relationship takes TONS of energy even if it on a surface level may seem like a relaxing and nice activity. Spending a weekend with a person you really like, watching movies, eating good food, cuddling(!) and so forth, seems nice and all, but goddamn IT’S EXHAUSTING! Even if she’s understanding of your situation and you’ve made clear it’s going to be a low-key weekend due to that.
BUT WE BURNED OUT FOR A REASON; WE ARE HIGH ACHIVERS (OR AT LEAST WANT TO BE) AND EVERYTHING WE DO, WE DO WITH THE (SUBCONSIOUS?) AIM TO BE PERFECT!
So many decisions, so many thoughts, so many actions & social behavior for her to evaluate you on! Not to forget your own evaluation of how the relationship is going and how you think of the whole scenario that is playing out. WILL I MARRY THIS GIRL; DO I EVEN LIKE THIS GIRL?
This, I came to realize after some digging by my psychologist during today’s session – what has happened since it started spiraling down? I thought – work, work, work, and some projects like THIS ONE and trying on a histamine free diet (it’s NOT easy!) probably was the cause. And sure they’ve added to the load, but they were there prior too, but in other forms. The thing is I had a similar decline after going on a bachelor party a few months back, after a long period of feeling great. But that weekend messed me up for some time to come!
MY POINT IS – bringing this home right now – Sometimes we, as burnout folks, need to look at ALL activities and think about how it’s draining us. Not o say that I shouldn’t have met with my girlfriend the other weekend, but maybe I could have adapted a bit more. And maybe just KNOWING WHY, has felt like an incredible burden lifted from my shoulders today. We’ll always have extra stress-loaded happenings, it’s part of life, but we can and should look at how we can prepapre ourselves for those situations. AND also aknowledge the fact that it is going to come with a price tag and that we will have to pay up. BUT, as long as we are consious and aware – we can make deliberate decions and then it’s so much easier to live with the consequences and we can be okay with easing up the load on some other things a while after.
This what I call freedom – having the power to decide, which is only possible if you KNOW how the different choices impact you. And I guess that’s part of why I’ve started this blog – this soon to be information-site. I want the facts out there – clear and easy to grasp – so we better can understand the impact all the different choices we take will impact our stress-levels = our mind & body.
P.S As an atempt to be IMPERFECT, I’m not going to bullet-proof read (is that how you say it? No it’s proof-read?!) this text!
SE YOU SOON ALL YOU MESSED UP PEOPLE OUT THERE!