Yeah, today isn’t the most energetic day, or rather I’m a bit.. depressed or bored (ashamed of saying that word, don’t like to associate myself with being unhappy)? Perhaps partly as a result of trying to lower the training volume and intensity, resulting in me not getting my daily workout kick. Although I did went to a yoga session and then did some very, very, light strength lifting, which didn’t do anything for me. But I’ve also increased my mindfulness- and meditation training, been listening to less music, and overall for the last couple of weeks exposed myself to fewer stimuli and just tried to be more unproductive. It’s tough to be burned out and having what you love – stress & intensity – being your kryptonite!
But this is my… …You know what. I’m not going to do this right now. The time is 22:17 and I just want to sleep. Or well, part of me wants to tell you about my experience with DOPAMINE DETOX. But I really need to sleep. I shouldn’t be working this late. I need to stop this behavior, and leading by example, I’m pulling the plug right now. I’ll just finish this off tomorrow! The ironic thing is that I’m not even sharing these posts with anyone yet. It’s just for me. Yet, I’m so afraid that bailing once on my commitment equals total failure and abounding this project and everything I stand for. All deeply rooted in my values and beliefs around work ethic. But this is what I really need to deal with. So I will. See you tomorrow (this is though).